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Dildos Become Projectiles As Sex-Store Employees Foil Would-Be Robbery Dildos Become Projectiles As Sex-Store Employees Foil Would-Be Robbery

When you get into a physically threatening situation, it pays to be resourceful and use whatever tools you have available to you. If you work at a sex toy store, those tools are dildos.

How To Kill Evil Clowns With Your Car How To Kill Evil Clowns With Your Car

Sure, Hurricane Matthew seems like it will be pretty scary. But it’s got nothing on the gravest threat facing our great nation’s safety right now: evil clowns. There’s an evil clown infestation happening all over America, and it’s time that we look the threat right in its filthy rubber nose and take action. With our…

Here Are The Best And Most Ridiculous Evil Clown Safety Alerts Here Are The Best And Most Ridiculous Evil Clown Safety Alerts

At this point, “creepy clowns” have been spotted in over a dozen cities, and at least one has supposedly lightly scratched a young boy. Whether or not we’re ready to admit it, our days of being able to walk down the street dressed as an evil jester with a chainsaw are over. Clown Purge has arrived.

This Is The Pinnacle Of Human Rage This Is The Pinnacle Of Human Rage

What’s the maddest you’ve ever been? Have you ever been angrier than this guy? Trick question; that’s impossible.

Rutgers Student Tailgate Shut Down After AD Chugs A Beer On Stage Rutgers Student Tailgate Shut Down After AD Chugs A Beer On Stage

That man you see above you there is Rutgers Athletic Director Pat Hobbs, indulging in a cold one at the official Rutgers student tailgate before the school’s game against New Mexico on Saturday. Rutgers opened up a student tailgate zone this season to try and boost attendance, but after two games, the school has…

Tomi Lahren Is A Facebook Meme Come To Life And America's Newest Hero Tomi Lahren Is A Facebook Meme Come To Life And America's Newest Hero

Some people will try to tell you that take storm generated by Colin Kaepernick’s refusal to stand for the national anthem is a bad thing. These people will sigh dramatically whenever Kaepernick comes up in conversation, and tweet things like, “Ugh. It’s too early for this. I’m going back to bed!” all day. These people…

Twitter User Puts Tony Stewart In His Rear-View Mirror Twitter User Puts Tony Stewart In His Rear-View Mirror

Tony Stewart—you know, the one who did this—decided to offer his thoughts on Colin Kaepernick and his decision to sit down during the National Anthem. You will not be surprised by those thoughts.

Weak-Ass Bureaucrats To Heroic Philly Citizens: Stop Turning Dumpsters Into Swimming Pools Weak-Ass Bureaucrats To Heroic Philly Citizens: Stop Turning Dumpsters Into Swimming Pools

The wise and proud residents of Cedar Street in Philadelphia, Penn. recently threw themselves a block party. Understanding that the party would be greatly improved by the presence of a swimming pool, they participated in the great American tradition of doing whatever the hell you want. Which is to say, they turned a…

Man Gives Amish Teens Yuengling, Yells "Rumspringa" As He Hits Their Horse-Drawn Buggy, Goes To Prison Man Gives Amish Teens Yuengling, Yells "Rumspringa" As He Hits Their Horse-Drawn Buggy, Goes To Prison

Pennsylvania man Thomas Candler Felts was sentenced Tuesday in Lancaster County Court for an Aug. 30 incident in which the 25-year-old gave Amish teens some beer, showed them his gun, and yelled “Rumspringa” before he hit their horse-drawn buggy with his car.

Dizzy Bat Ends Spectacularly For This Bills Fan Dizzy Bat Ends Spectacularly For This Bills Fan

This is not a long video, but still manages to define “wait for it.” Here’s a Mario Williams jersey-clad Bills fan making the most of his morning tailgate time with a round of Dizzy Bat that ends in the most wonderful fashion.

2014 Was A Banner Year For Food Spills On Highways 2014 Was A Banner Year For Food Spills On Highways

Early this morning, a cargo truck overturned on a Detroit highway, scattering boxes of frozen chicken wings across the asphalt, capping off what has been a remarkable year for highway-spill enthusiasts. Let us now stroll down food-spill memory lane. Watch your footing, it might be slippery.

Icelandic Dipshits Totally Owned By Giant Parking-Garage Cat Door Icelandic Dipshits Totally Owned By Giant Parking-Garage Cat Door

Look, there's a lot going on here, and the only available information has to be translated from the Icelandic, so bear with me: I'm doing the best I can. From available news reports (headline: "Icelander panties girlfriend and drove car sales - mixed video!"), we can glean that this transpired three years ago in…

NASCAR Race Goes Yellow Due To Idiot On The Catch Fence NASCAR Race Goes Yellow Due To Idiot On The Catch Fence

Tonight's NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Richmond went under caution with 70 laps remaining after an idiot Idiot climbed the catch fence to, according to bystanders, take a selfie. ESPN's broadcast didn't want to say much about what happened, so here is some video.

Watch These Fools Try To Shove A Gigantic Sofa Into A Very Tiny Car Watch These Fools Try To Shove A Gigantic Sofa Into A Very Tiny Car

Seriously though, what the hell was ever the plan here?

Angry Driver Versus Cyclists Makes For Great Roadside Screaming Match Angry Driver Versus Cyclists Makes For Great Roadside Screaming Match

Drivers and cyclists getting into confrontations is a thing that happens so often that it's hardly ever worth pointing out, but this is a special circumstance.

Fallen Rangers Fan Is The Saddest Subway Rider Fallen Rangers Fan Is The Saddest Subway Rider

A reader sends along this photo of a prone Rangers fan, fittingly adorned in a Rick Nash jersey and camo Rangers hat, lying prone on the Q train at 2:00 a.m. last night. We are told that this guy "barely moved" for at least three stops, at which time our tipster had to get off the train.

Don't Tweet Menacing Things To Airlines, Like This Girl Don't Tweet Menacing Things To Airlines, Like This Girl

Messing with companies on Twitter is fun, unless it involves sending an airline an ominous tweet that implies a future hijacking. That route of trolling is really, really dumb.

Arizona Bro Takes So Many Pepper Balls To Chest Before Being Restrained Arizona Bro Takes So Many Pepper Balls To Chest Before Being Restrained

Police were called in to contain rowdy Arizona students after the Wildcats lost to Wisconsin in the Elite Eight last night, but all the beanbag shots pepper balls in the world couldn't take one dude down. (For a little while, anyway.)

Using Weed To Pay For A Cab Ride In Front Of Cops Is Never A Good Idea Using Weed To Pay For A Cab Ride In Front Of Cops Is Never A Good Idea

Just, you know, FYI. Because Michael Medvec, a 23-year-old Philly resident, tried it last Friday night, when he didn't have the eight bucks he needed to pay the fare back to his apartment. Let's read along with the Philadelphia Daily News, which got the deets from Philly police captain Brian Korn:

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